“I am woman, hear me roar! I am strong. I am confident. I am fearless. I am brave. I am unbreakable!”
This is the saying we often repeat to ourselves on a daily basis; especially on “those” days. You know, those days where we’re rocking the messy bun or mom bun (or for people with short hair like me, a hat), and the oversized tee and yoga pants. The days that feel like groundhog day. The days where the kids have gone completely cray. Yea, those days, and every day in between. This statement is our daily reminder to ourselves that we can slay whatever the day brings our way. There is nothing that is going to stop us.
But, the fact of the matter is- we are absolutely breakable. Inevitably, something will come along that breaks us. Not just once and not just twice. We really don’t know how many times. I’m sure you have been there. For me, infertility is something that left me broken.
Literally, that’s how I felt- broken. My body was broken. My body would not do what it was created to- reproduce life. For those that have experienced this, you understand what I am talking about. The absolute agony that comes with hearing the infertility diagnosis is gut wrenching. In that moment of diagnosis (and for days there after), I didn’t feel like telling myself “I am woman, hear me roar! I am strong. I am confident. I am fearless. I am brave. I am unbreakable!”
In fact, I wasn’t just broken, I was shattered. Questioning if I would ever bring life into this world. Questioning whether or not I deserved to bring life into this world. Questioning whether or not I was being punished for past decisions. Immediately it was a pity party; woe is me; life is ruined.
The journey of infertility isn’t often talked about because, well, lets face it…its embarrassing to admit that your body is broken. One purpose I have as a woman is to bring life into this world and I can’t fulfill that purpose. Meanwhile every time I turn around someone ends up pregnant. Some planned, some not planned. Each time I have to be excited and congratulate them yet it tears me apart on the inside.
But then, I realized the pity party wasn’t getting me anywhere and I knew I had to shift my focus. When I shifted my focus from pouting over the shattered pieces to focusing on the one who could actually repair those shattered pieces, everything changed.
When I asked God to mend my broken heart and use me through this process, He opened doors for me to be able to encourage others who were walking this journey of infertility. It was comforting to know I wasn’t alone, but being able to encourage others in the process also brought healing to my own mind and spirit.
You see, we serve a God “who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” (Ephesians 3:20 NLT)
I don’t know what, if anything, has you “broken” in life but God alone has the power to turn your situation around. For some of you it may seem as though your world is crumbling; for some of you, you may be patiently waiting. Regardless of where you find yourself in this season of brokenness- God is FAITHFUL! He will never leave you nor forsake you.
Paul walked through some hard times but remained steadfast in prayer and praise to God. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 says “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.” He continues in verses 16 & 17 – “That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!”
Be encouraged-the battle has already been won and victory is already yours. A verse that I clung to during my 4 year battle with infertility was Habakkuk 2:3 (NLV) “For it is not yet time for it to come true. The time is coming in a hurry, and it will come true. If you think it is slow in coming, wait for it. For it will happen for sure, and it will not wait.” This verse carried me through my season of waiting, although I can’t say it was always with patience. I am, after all, human. And a woman. And hormonal (Especially when I desired so deeply to be a mom).
God saw me through and granted me the desires of my heart. I am now mommy to a beautiful little girl and a handsome little boy. Whatever you are facing today- if God can do it for me, then He can absolutely do it for you. We may be breakable, but through God we are repairable and we always come back stronger than before!
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