Single Ladies.. single mommas…be encouraged by God’s word...
"Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:4
"Don't compromise what God said was meant for a blessing."
"Don’t establish a relationship based on what you can get from it."
"God won't bless a relationship that he isn't in."
"Learn to be okay with just being with you!"
Boy, do I know these words of wisdom oh so well! The truth is I spent the majority of my dating life doing the complete opposite. I was so impatient and just wanted to have what she had and what they had. I allowed my self to tirelessly try to prove to people who just couldn't see my worth, to see me. I chased after rejection. Convinced myself that he would change. Things would change. I even placed unrealistic expectations on me for the sake of a relationship. I didn't want to let it go. So I stuck through it all. Changed whatever I had to just to make that person comfortable.
Chasing after what rejects you only places you in a place of pain and disillusion. I know. I've been there! We don't see how we wear ourselves thin for the sake of a relationship or attention of a guy just to be noticed or to even be "loved." All my life I saw dysfunction and men come and go and therefore, it must be love? It must be normal? Right? WRONG! You should never have to go through more than one guy to prove that you are special, or that you are loved, no matter how lonely you feel.
Let me be the one to tell you this... You are a Daughter of a King who loves you! All of of you!
When you decide to let God into your heart you will start to see you for the beautiful you that you are, the you that is so awesome and special.
God will begin a good work and finish it. As long as you trust Him and give Him access to. He will go into those deep, dark areas in our hearts that we have covered and left to not deal with. God will begin to cut the people out that are choking you. Just like a flower, weeds choke off the very essence of the flowers growth and beauty. You are a beautiful flower to God!
With the grace and mercy that God gives, we can get through these singleness struggles.
Let me share something with you ladies...Until you learn to be okay with just having a relationship with God, you will be in a relationship for all the wrong reasons. That was not the design that God intended for you- to be in circles in a relationship.
Ladies, lets be real here,...just because a guy is in church doesn’t mean that he is “in” church. How many of us have been in a conversation and not been “in” the conversation. Being single doesn’t have to be miserable ladies. I learned that when I placed myself before everything that had my attention, I started to see a worth filled perspective and not what I was too blind to see. Let's admit ladies, we like to see what WE want to see... even if the reality is different!?
For single mommas, I was a single mommy and I understand that we can see everything as overwhelming, lonely, or even full of regrets. We can feel so ugly sometimes! So lonely! I know! But, my sister, we don’t have to feel like this anymore. We cannot change what happened to us in our childhood, nor can we change the life we used to live or the choices that we made, or the relationships that didn't work out. However, we can choose not to let it define us and choose to let it redefine our future!
Let me remind you that God is with you! There are so many things that I can share that Jesus came through for me when I was a single mommy. One of the biggest testimonies is I had favor on my rent and that the leasing office never saw that amount for rent ever! But, God, won’t he do it? He sure will! He connected me with people and a church that could be the extension of his love, grace, support, and family that I would need to help me through, that would love on my kids while he helped me heal.
My children knew that we had Jesus and that although we looked like a family of 3, we knew he was with us!
Being a single mommy does not mean your defected. In fact I wouldn’t even call you single mommys. I’d call you saved mommys. You are saved for someone who will love you and those beautiful children that you have as an extra blessing. Many times we see our lives through the lens of scrutiny and past mistakes and we don’t have to.
God has someone for you and that is a promise, but in the mean time, stop trying to help him.
Being the best YOU is the most importance part of being single. You can do more that you may not be able to do when you are in a relationship. Enjoy your kids more, that is not a bad thing. Enjoy being single! Don't compromise. Don't settle!
Singleness doesn’t have to be depressing and it really doesn’t have to be boring.
If you have to convince people who you are or even change who you are to make someone look at you, then you need to evaluate that relationship! Never, ever, work to prove to someone that you are a gift. Don’t wither away because someone just wants the easy access to you. WAIT and TRUST that God has it all worked out for you. Don't flirt with Jesus--Stay with Him and be honest when you are most tempted to do something, call a sister you can trust, pray, stay connected to other single ladies that are like-minded. The bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 15:33, "Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character."
When you compromise your singleness for temporary moments, you realize that that's all it was, just a moment, not a lifetime commitment! Don’t settle for less than what you deserve!
Be blessed and know that I am praying for you! I am believing with you for your mate! One that fears the Lord, knows the Lord by the way they bear fruit, and also knows the value of a beautiful woman or young lady like yourself! One that understands the commitment of a relationship, the love for your kids.
Don’t be angry at God. He only sees you worth far more than any rubies, a favorable gift in His eyes. He isn’t moved by your anger, nor your demands, because he knows that what is from him will know him. Know the Gift you are. And, stay in for the long run. Like a Godly marriage! God walks with you through this season of singleness and I am believing that he will meet every need!
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