sarah blake ochsner
I’m the type of girl who is always looking ahead. I start one thing and am instantly consumed by thoughts of what’s next. Call it a gypsy spirit, I guess, but I often find myself dreaming of life lived out of a suitcase.
That’s not always a good thing. Especially when you marry someone who appreciates stability, you know, like most normal human beings do. Don’t get me wrong, my husband loves my adventurous heart and has always supported my insistent goal-making, but he gently preaches patience.
Hmm… Patience… Remind me what that is again. I've never quite mastered that skill.
Recently, a potential opportunity fell into my lap at work. It wasn’t set in stone. One of those “don’t get your hopes up” things, which was nearly impossible since it was my dream assignment. A once-in-a-lifetime-this-is-why-I-do-what-I-do, opportunity.
I prayed: "God, pleaseeeeeeee open this door for me! I was made to do this!"
Welp. To make a long story short, that pretty little door slammed right in my face. My heart sank. They told me not to get excited. But I did. Why would God even tease me with this idea?
And then in my wallowing, it hit me. I AM NOT READY. The Lord wanted to show me what’s ahead, while also reminding me how much work I have to do on myself to get there.
I want the Lord to use me in big ways, but I now realize my faith must be unbreakable before He does.
He won’t set me up to fail. And right now, I often crumble and complain when something doesn’t go my way.
My prayer recently is not only for patience, but also for preparation. I want my trust in Him to truly have no boarders. Its one thing to say you have strong faith, but what happens when it’s truly tested in the worst way?
I want to be ready. I know I’m not yet. But I will be, someday soon.
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