So many of the ladies on this blog and in my life are wonderful women who are married, have beautiful families, make amazing mothers, and have awesome careers while slaying on a daily with their fashion! I mean really! They got it going on. As awesome as they all are and as amazing as they make that life look, I have to be honest. While it’s a wonderful flavor and the aroma is enticing, it isn’t my choice cup of tea on a rainy day.
Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with that life or level of commitment. I am committed! I have commitment people…I promise **gives the side eye** okay, okay so my commitment is to be non committed to essentially everything... If I am speaking freely here, the only commitment I have made and love is the relationship with God and baby even that was a process, buuuuut I will save that for another day.
I was always good in school but could never decide on a major or career. Why? Because I wanted and still want to do everything I can. Why limit myself and why limit the knowledge/skills I can obtain in life? I always wanted to be married, but never dated long enough let alone dated at all to even make it to that conversation. I always said I wanted kids, but then realized…not for me. My mom always said she worried about me because she knows I am a runner or non-settler. Although now that I am older I understand that my mom was saying I am a free spirit and live on my own accord. That is a beautiful compliment; however, in my youth it used to really upset me.
I used to wonder why I wasn’t excited about long term relationships, a house full of kids, and a husband who took care of me. People would tell me, “ oh honey it will change when you meet the right one,” or, “ one day you’ll get baby fever.” But honestly why does it have to change? Why can’t I just be free to be me?
Here’s the thing, I have 6 brothers and sisters. I am 6 out of 7 children. Kids are a huge responsibility and I don’t want it. I like to personally do what I want without the responsibility of any one else’s life, as handling mine is a job of it’s own. Dating? In today’s day and age? No Thank you. I always wanted to date someone that pushed me to fly higher, not fly with the rest of the group. A person that gave me freedom, but kept me grounded, built me up, but had that supportive foundation for stormy weather. CAN I DATE MY BEST FRIEND Y’ALL? ** Side note: Look at God! I date my best friend!** And to have a man take care of me? Baby no! I take care of myself and what I can’t do I serve a God that can! Can I get an amen?!?
You see I didn’t grow up with people telling me to do the things that make me happy, THINGS being plural. Society doesn’t tell you to marry your best friend or explain that being taken care of is an emotional state and not a financial one!
My senior year of college I took a gender communication class. Totally changed my life. It was in that class that I learned being me is precisely what God created me for and society was not who I had to answer to. In this life I can be exactly who Kimberly wants to be, and while some may not agree with some of the choices I make as a person or even as a woman, I have to remember that I am appointed and not approved. Shout out to Jeremiah 1:5 for speaking volumes.
It is so easy for society and other persons to tell you who to be, to tell you what you can and cannot do, what is a good idea and what isn’t but ultimately it is about chasing you. Finding you. Loving you! Being you!
So go on girl! You’re free to be you! And I’m free to be me! So lets be Free together!
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