As a woman there is a different definition of strong that comes with our gender. It is not strength of physicality but more emotional and mental strength that is tested beyond measure. I, myself, have been through some pretty painful moments that emotionally I thought were physically going to destroy me; however, my mental strength proved me wrong. If I am being honest, it was my faith that held me together because in my flesh I was at the end. It is only by faith I am held together.
In my previous post, “Living Without Her Plans,” I wrote about how at one point in my life, I swore I had it all figured out. Just a little recap – I literally thought I knew, down to the nitty gritty, what was ahead of me in this funny thing we call life.
Story ruined: that all changed.
Maybe it wasn’t ruined though. Maybe if I stuck to MY plans, my life wouldn’t have been all that great after all. It took me a minute to realize I needed to calm down and just give it to the big man upstairs. Lets face it y’all – He knows what He’s doing.
Mother's Day will be here in a few days--for some it is a day to count their blessings as they look at the miracle of their children and it brings joy...others, it brings sorrow as they wait to be held by the arms of their mother again or are waiting for their arms to be filled with a sweet bundle. I have been on both sides of this coin and wanted to take a moment to encourage each. You are all a treasure and sometimes, we just need reminding.
to the mother with small children,
Oh sweet mama, I promise you will sleep again...maybe...well, sometimes. Did you ever think it possible that your precious little one looking up at you with the utmost deep well of newborn baby eyes would also send a tidal wave through your life? But as Jenn said the other day in Riding The Waves Of Motherhood, this time is so short and when our kids spill their second cup of juice at breakfast time, we have to choose do we go under in the current or just hop in the boat and go along with the tide.
Being a mommy is sugar and spice and everything nice! It’s the most rewarding job I’ve ever had. The most challenging, the most stressful, the most tear-jerking, and most definitely the most rollercoaster’ish. I know that’s not a word, but it was the most fitting adjective I could think of. Anybody with small (or not so small) children can totally understand the craziness of a tantrum, meltdown, or completely overwhelming wave of emotion. Ah, yes. The overwhelming (and often hard-to-anticipate) waves that we experience in mommy world.
You’re a 34 year old single mother of 3 children, one of them a newborn, all is good, or so you thought. Just months after he was born you’re starting to notice you’re having trouble carrying your own child. Your hands are on FIRE and it’s getting worse by the day! You notice a red rash on your face. After googling your symptoms you go to your doctors to get tested for what you think you are suffering from. It’s confirmed, you have LUPUS. Imagine you’re awake but not really there. You hear voices, but no one’s home. Then PITCH BLACK. You’ve passed out and you wake up in a hospital bed with no recollection of what had happened. You have amnesia and all you have to go by is what everyone else witnessed. You were told you screamed some obscenities and at times became violet. All things that are out of character for you. You can’t remember your kids' names and it takes a while to remember things. You can’t form words because of the stutter you’ve developed.
“For through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life.” Proverbs 9:11
With March having been my birthday month and the 6th-- the day I was born to a young single teenage mom, I have realized that you don’t get older, you get wiser. Isn’t that a refresher right there!? You can put the anti-aging cream down now! YOU get wiser. Wisdom, as God says, is the beginning of knowledge. Wisdom is also the beginning of understanding who we are not and who God is. As I realize this, so many things come to light for me. Even in the midst of my wandering and everything that I have gone through. Life is so good right now. Not that everything good is going on, but I can see my eternal gift of what life is for me at this very moment. I can see the good in everything.
In honor of Mother's Day coming soon, it only felt right to have a little style fun with my favorite woman in the world. Meet my sweet, beautiful mama. Born in Brooklyn, New York with Puertorican roots. She is a brave, strong & confident single mom of 3 who raised us to be the same. Always praying and believing for the best, showing us that with God all things are possible. Did you know that she can play bass and guitar? My mom was “famous” y’all! In her 20’s she became a member of her church band called The Mediators, who later on made their own vinyl record.
"The Mamies" as I call her, has always been stylish in her own way (you know, with some of my help). From her business suits, plaid patterns, shoulder pads, hip huggers and let's not forget the platform shoes, to now signing up with gwynnie bee. Yes my 62 year old mama has her own gwynnie bee subscription. This is giving her the opportunity to get the looks that she loves from the comfort of her own home, creating an ultimate wardrobe if she wants to keep any pieces or enjoy wearing a cute outfit and sending it back when finished with their unlimited exchanges & free laundry. Is there any better gift you can give your mom for Mother's Day than free laundry? I think not! She would get her first month free, then the next month can be your official gift!
Now--let’s talk about these amazing outfits:
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV
Forgiveness. I thought I found it, felt like I meant it and he would accept it, God that is--everyone else is irrelevant. That's how it works anyway, or so I thought. You know you say it, it's said, it's done and on to the next moment in life. It's as if it's finished then it begins. Again. A cycle. A cycle that seems to repeat itself.
If you sat down with me about a year and a half ago, I would’ve told you my life plan. I had it all figured out. I totally knew (or thought I knew) what I wanted to do for a career, I knew when I was going to graduate, I knew I wanted to go to grad school, I knew what the perfect internship was, I knew who my real friends were, I knew when I wanted to settle down…
I knew it all, and I wanted absolutely zero help from anyone, I was going to do it all for myself and by myself.
Well guess what? Over the last year and a half, a lot has changed. Not saying I don’t know any of the above anymore and I’m definitely NOT saying change is a bad thing (check out my last blog post for my feels on that topic ha.) I’m just saying that I’m a-okay where I’m at right now.
from our app...
‘What to say, what to say, what to say…..umm. Hi God. It’s me. Right, You knew that.Uh, how are you?’
No, that’s ridiculous, He’s in heaven, obviously, things are great.
‘Ok, scratch that. Ok, umm, so as you can tell, things are pretty crazy down here and I know I need your help, but I don’t know what to ask for. Last time I asked for patience, you gave me that co-worker who drove me crazy, so clearly, I don’t know what I’m doing. So, if you could just, you know, do your thing, that’d be great. Thanks, bye.’
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